AS I mentioned in my previous post – I was at deaths door for the whole of January.  Never in my life have I been so ill.  Luckily for me, the husband stuck to his sickness and in health vows and was on hand with medicines and tissues.

I’m allergic to runny egg, so couldn’t get the flu vaccine.  Next year, I’ll definitely be pre ordering an egg free version.

Here’s what happened to me:

Had a bit of a sore throat just after Christmas, put it down to squawking over a few drinks during the festive period.

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Went out to the PD with my ladies on New Years Day.  Talked (screeched), sang, danced and drank some more.  I also joined a gang, it seems.

Woke up on January 2nd with no voice and a horrendous cough.  Blamed my mate for smoking her e-cig near me the day before.  It leaves me barking like an Alsation any time I’m near her.

Breathlessly I croaked my way through a call to the Belldoc begging for help.  But I wasn’t sick enough to be invited over for treatment.  So, I kept up my fluids and took to bed.

I lost my appetite and couldn’t smell anything.  A car was burning out my back and I didn’t even notice.  My nostrils shut down.


Then I developed a serious case of green sputum.  It was nuclear waste material and my contaminated tissues filled a whole bin bag.  There were times when I coughed for a whole five minutes, bent over in pain.  Every time I coughed, a fart came with it.

My forehead started making squeaking noises, I went completely deaf in one ear and my throat wanted me to cut it to end the pain.

Eventually, the Belldoc decided I was ill enough to come over.  I joined loads of babies in the waiting room.  We cried in unison for our Mummies.

Finally left with a prescription for antibiotics, pain relief and ibuprofen.

Days passed and the antibiotics started to work.  The throat infection cleared up a bit but the funky sinus infection was for staying.

Andrea’s on the Shankill kept my sugar levels normal.  Those milkshakes have done more for community relations than the Good Friday Agreement.

Then this toothache appeared.  This wasn’t happening.  I hadn’t been to the dentist since I was pregnant 13 years ago.  There’s an old saying in Belfast: “You’ll get me in the labour ward quicker than the dental surgery”.

I don’t have a dentist because they don’t hold their books open any more.

I googled ‘where to go in Belfast for emergency dental care’.  The Royal School of Dentistry came up.  They have a free walk in clinic.

This service is fantastic.  I arrived, gave my details and was seen by a student within an hour.  She was a lovely girl and being supervised by a doctor.

I was sent downstairs for an xray.  I was treated by a student being supervised by an experienced radiographer.  The machine was a bit scary.  Standing up,I had to hold on to some hand rests, then these clamps grabbed me by the head to kept me still while the big magnet circled around.


Then I was sent back upstairs to look at my skull on the computer screen, I must admit this was fascinating.  The doctor said I had a wisdom tooth growing from an infected sinus.  That would explain all the green gunk and tooth pain.

It was decided to extract my upper right wisdom tooth under local anaesthetic.  Four needles straight into my gub where my sore throat was in the process of healing.

There was none of this unicorns and onions stuff you see on YouTube when Americans get their wisdom teeth out.

Nope.  Hard as nails – I got mine whipped out when fully conscious.  There was yanking, cracking and shouts of ‘open wide’.  There was a loud clanging as the biggest tooth in my head landed in the metal tray.  Despite being deaf in one ear, I heard it.

I was sent home and told to rinse my mouth out with salt water.

Then as the numbness subsided – sweet mother of Christ, a whole other level of pain kicked in.

This time the Belldoc was very considerate and said there would be a prescription for pain relief waiting at Crumlin Road.

I was introduced to Codeine.  Now I know why people get addicted to prescription drugs.  I was still barking away like an angry dog – but doing so on fluffy clouds, off my face.

The sinus problem wouldn’t shift, the coughing is still here and the deafness has only just gone.  I also lost 9lb from malnutrition.


I went to my own GP and she gave me kapak and nasal steroid spray to add to the anti biotics, ibruprofen, cough bottle and codeine.

Then these night sweats started happening.  The bed was soaked, I had to keep changing pyjamas and having showers at ungodly hours of the morning.  It didn’t help that I was also over dosing on Homeland and Orange Is The New Black.  The mental dreams I was having under the influence of all the tablets and Netflix – were driving me up the walls.

During this bout of illness, I had googled ‘Do I need a life support machine?’ and ‘What are the signs of pneumonia?’.

But alas, full health has resumed and I’m back with a vengeance.