SHE’S going to kill me for writing about her because she is shy and avoids the limelight. She freaks out when attention is drawn to her.  She’s one of those people whose whole body goes red when they’re embarrassed. So it made this story I’m about to repeat even funnier.

Louise and her Da are the best of mates.  He gives her a hand with her two boys who are aged one and two. They go into town together and get the shopping in.  They’re a great team. He runs errands for her and doesn’t let her lift a hand.  Until today.

The two of them were dandering through Beechmount and she realised she forgot something from the house. Her Da says to her “giv is your keys and I’ll run up and get it”.  She threw the keys to him and they landed in the grate. Her Da bent down to get them and did the honours of knocking them in. They landed with a splash.

Louise has only one set and they were currently soaking up the street gunk. Her Da who would do anything for her; has a bad back was unable to assist. Louise lay down on the road and stuck her arm down the grate and started feeling around with no joy.

Her Da went over to an old man he knows and asked him for a lend of a small shovel. The man came over and brought with him, his flattulence problem but no shovel. Louise said the aul lad kept farting everytime he moved and casually ignored it as he bent down to give her drain fishing advice.

The old boy went over to his house for a small scooping implement. He returned with an open tin of dog food with left over food still in it. Louise hates dogs and the smell of their food. So here she was face down in a sewer scooping around the putrid water with a tin of dead horse. Her day was not going well.

Along came her sister’s friend. Let’s call her Paula. Paula stood behind Louise and joined her Da and the aul boy as they peered into whatever contents Louise pulled out of the drain. Finally the keys were retrieved.

Just as Paula went to step onto the kerb, Louise moved her leg to start getting up off the ground. Bingo, Louise’s leg connected with Paula’s ankle and she went flying backwards off the kerb and landed in a heap on the road. And that my friends is one of the reasons why I love this place.

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