When you first join Twitter it can seem very confusing, so I thought I might compile a step by step guide.

Firstly if if someone you don’t know follows you always ask who they are and why. STRANGER DANGER.

Next step is to follow and tweet all the celebs asking them to follow you.  No one ever does that and it helps celebs to feel loved.

No one on Twitter knows what day of the week it is so it helps if you highlight them, for example on a Monday you say things like It’s Monday, where did the weekend go?.” It helps if you give Monday a face.

Then comes towel Tuesday when I tweet my favourite tea towel but some girls seem to just tweet semi naked towel pics and  I’m not sure why.

No humping happens on Wednesday but it’s compulsory to joke about the lack of it.

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