SUPPOSE I may write something seeing as this blog has practically died and went back to the fires of grammar hell from whence it came.


When not working, I’ve been really busy pissing around my house, lazing on the settee in my pyjamas and laughing with my mates in watsapp chats. This type of activity really takes it out of me and leaves me with nothing of substance to write about.

Family bonding

Me and the Emo are having the best craic lately. We’ve been going to the cinema and increasingly finding more things in common with each other. She picked her GCSE’s and chose the exact same subjects as I did. So I predict her to have to go back to college later in life and study for something that actually results in a job. Her career choices along with her hair colour changes from day-to-day. I’m just glad she doesn’t want to be a hairdressing bee keeper anymore. Really.

Wedding Bells

Ha. Not my own.  But remember my friend I featured on Human’s Of West Belfast?  She was single and a lovely caring man got in contact.  Since then, they’ve been sickeningly loved up.  He moved over here to be with her and they’re getting married.  Stupid bastards.  Only sleggin dudes, I’m delighted you found each other and that I made it happen.  They now refer to me as Cilla.

Local News

There’s been so much happening in West Belfast lately and it’s all bad. I really cannot be bothered going off on one of my usual rants about the sheer number of ballbags ruining lives and taking up the news. They’re just not worth my time. Sorry if you were anticipating a Ranty McRanterson special to arrive in your inbox. I just couldn’t be annoyed stressing over things that are not within my control. Wankers will wank. Sorry. My keyboard Tourette’s is uncontrollable these days.

A couple of things that have caught my eye have ended up in the news. The first being the newly installed launderette on the Shaw’s Road. Because apparently, people on the Shaw’s Road didn’t have access to washers or dryers until recently. After I sent out a stolen pic tweet, it was picked up by Belfast Live and the Irish News. Maybe I have a talent for spotting random shit.

Next is my Slimming World consultant Lee McCrudden. I tipped my favourite journalist off about his story and he even made it into the Irish Daily Mirror such was the public interest in my fellow Westie. That’s another thing I’ve been up to, losing weight. I’m feeling a lot better mentally and physically so all’s good in the hood.

Ulster Fry & Slugger O’Toole

I’m under pressure to come up with something good for sites with 50K subscribers.  Not that they publish anything I offer but the thought still counts. Thanks for the constructive criticism lads.  Every day is a learning experience.  Have to go back to the days of writing like I’m the only one reading, as it was easier.

Impending Alcoholism

Due to being skint saving for my holiday, on a diet and suffering a handbag loss scare – I lasted 20 days sober. It was a very boring time where I had a slight Britney 2007 breakdown and reassessed my existence.  I intend to never do that again. Usual drunkenness and making poor life choices will resume on wages day.